England 2 Trinidad 0 (Tobago also nil)

I imagine that supporting a team that has a chance of winning the world cup is akin to following a Millenarian religion. A Millenarian religion is one that believes in the coming of the end time, where the devotees will be delivered to paradise and the non-devotees will be devoured in hell. As a devotee, you have faith that your lot is the one to be with come the end, but you have doubts from time to time. You might watch the devotee's community get rocked by controversy. You may also watch as a rival group come in and take followers off you. It could even happen that one of the best priests gets injured while the archlord is bombarded with press intrusion. Then, in one of the biggest ceremonies, your favourite priest, who is reliable to score a miracle now and then, is replaced before he has the chance to atone for his four month absence, perhaps due to burning his hand with a lightning bolt.

So you feel shocked and elated when numerous chances to pull off a miracle, in a contest of 'who's the daddy millenarian movement?' while the other lot are a bunch of lucky chancers, are squandered. Only right at the end, two really great magical displays appear to put you through to the next round. Well I tell thee, no goat or virgin is spared in the ensuing celebrations. However, you feel a bit exasperated by the priests at the back lumping the magic potion out of your possession into theirs.

Next week, why we all need to chant mantras in pentagrams for the Czech Republic and Italy. Roll on our dark messiah!